‘Miracle’ as selectively mute Ashford girl starts speaking more while playing sensory football

The mother of a seven-year-old girl who is selectively mute has told how playing football sparked a “miracle” breakthrough.

Lilly-Rose from South Ashford can’t talk at school, struggles to bond with other children and often tries to hide herself under a coat to blank everyone else out.

Her mum Gemma Lawrence, 41, was worried sick about her little girl and was unsure how to help as she could “talk your ears clean off” at home.

But a big change came seven months ago after a friend spotted a Facebook post about a football club which enables children with complex disabilities and sensory needs to play the sport in a way that is adapted for their abilities.

Unconvinced Lilly-Rose would want to take part, Ms Lawrence took her along to a session at Ashford Sensory Football Club for six to 16-year-olds, held weekly at the Stour Centre.

When Lilly-Rose began taking part, Ms Lawrence says she was “stunned” by the change in her daughter.

“Lilly-Rose loved the club from the beginning,” she explained.

“By the second week, she was tugging on her coaches’ t-shirts to indicate she wanted them to play football with her and by the third week she began talking to them, saying: ‘Come do this.’

“Then last month, she started calling to the other children, ‘Here you are,’ as she passed the ball over.

“I tried not to show how excited I was in case it put her off, but inside I loved it.

“Lilly-Rose is so different at football. It’s like a miracle and we’re both so much happier.”

According to the NHS, selective mutism is an anxiety disorder where a person cannot speak in social situations.

It says: “A child or adult with selective mutism does not refuse or choose not to speak at certain times - they’re literally unable to speak.”

Now the mother and daughter love watching the Euros together and Ms Lawrence is even coaching another of the club’s sensory football sessions for younger children.

But before they discovered sensory football, which was developed with the support of the national disability charity Sense, things were difficult.

Lilly-Rose is in Year 2 at the John Wallis Academy Primary School and is unable to speak unless she really has to.

“At school, she doesn’t talk, even though I try to encourage it,” Ms Lawrence said.

“Because I’m not there, she will find one person each year, a teacher or teaching assistant, and if there’s something she really needs, she’ll say it but only in a very quiet voice so they can barely hear her.

“She will also hide herself under something like a coat or a blanket to blank everybody out.

“Then at break time, she goes wild, shouting and screaming and laughing, just releasing all her pent-up emotions.”

The issues Lilly-Rose faced after she started school were severely affecting the family’s home life.

Ms Lawrence’s four older children have now left home and she lives with her two youngest, Lilly-Rose and Alfie, 13.

She said: “When she was in Year 1, Lilly-Rose wasn’t sleeping until 6.30am, when I had to get up. It was exhausting.

“At home, Lilly-Rose knows what she wants, likes to be in control and will talk your ears clean off because she has a lot to say.

“She disengages at home too sometimes, but she has her tent to go into and we let her have her space.

“She’s on a pathway to a proper diagnosis, but I personally think she has autism.”

Ms Lawrence has recently completed an online level 2 qualification in child safeguarding, is now doing a level 3 course in understanding special educational needs and, inspired by Lilly-Rose, hopes to work helping vulnerable children.

But she was struggling to support her daughter and admitted: “It was frustrating, which made it very stressful.”

At the football club, Lilly-Rose quickly bonded with Laura Smith and Emma Oram, the volunteer coaches who founded the club in October 2023.

Ms Lawrence said: “That first session was fantastic. Lilly-Rose enjoyed playing with all kinds of balls – there were fluffy ones, textured ones, some that were scented, others with bells in – and she loved collecting them in giant buckets.

“At sensory football, the children practise skills like ball control and aiming, but it’s set up so each child can do each activity in the way that best suits them.

“Lilly-Rose has an awesome kick!

“Better still, because there are no complicated rules and no negative responses from other people, this was a comfortable, safe space for her and she could just be herself.

“Now, Lilly-Rose will go up to Emma and Laura and say: ‘We’re going to play a game next and I’ll tell you exactly what to do.’

“And she’s made a couple of friends too. She’s meshed really well with a boy and a girl who are both slightly older than her and will go off and play with them.

“When she first called out to the other children as she was passing the ball, it was only a couple of words but it’s such a big deal.

“Lilly-Rose is still selectively mute at school but the difference sensory football has made to her is incredible.

“She’s found a sociable activity she loves and I wouldn’t have thought that was possible.”